The whole, difficult and painful divorce process is finally over. The papers are signed, and you are legally a divorced individual. Now what?
The consequences of divorce seem challenging, even overwhelming at first. Most newly divorced people will have to cope with an intense emotional aftermath, It’s normal to feel grief, anger, depression, fear for the future, or feelings of failure: “I was a good spouse. It didn’t have to end this way.” Your outer environment changes, too. Your former spouse isn’t there anymore. You may have moved to a new house or apartment. Your friendships change, and some fall away.
During a time of such major upheaval, you may feel a need to reclaim and reestablish your own identity. It’s a good idea to find some support: talk to friends, join a divorce support group, see a therapist. Read books about “recovery” from divorce. Above all, try to remind yourself that things will get better. In an encouraging article on the “upsides” of the aftermath of divorce, family relationship expert Nancy Fagan wrote, “There is a light at the end of the tunnel — if you just know where to look.” She noted that
Women are remarkably resilient. They are less likely to experience high levels of emotional stress, because they have social support systems that help them make the adjustment. Women initiate divorces nearly twice as often as men, and may feel more confident of the decision to divorce. Women are more likely to have some form of custody of their children, which reduces anxiety despite the potential burden of taking care of the children on almost full-time basis.
Men have a tougher time with separation at first; they are more likely to be blindsided when their spouses tell them they want to divorce. Men rebound quickly, however. They are eager to jump into matrimony again, and are likely to remarry sooner than women. Men do better when they have joint custody of their kids; they become better parents, and, perhaps paradoxically, become more involved in their children’s lives.
With time comes a “new normal.” Divorced, you develop new confidence and a new identity in the world. You may engage with a new career, develop new interests, new friendships and relationships. It takes time, but eventually, the aftermath of your divorce will bring new joy to your life.
The seasoned family law and divorce lawyers at the McGrath Law Firm, founded by attorney Peter McGrath, will walk you through every step of the challenging divorce process to address your concerns and achieve your goals as efficiently as possible. From spousal support, child support, fault, and equitable division of property and debt to valuations, pre-nuptial agreements, and restraining orders, the experienced attorneys at McGrath Law Firm have a successful track record in all aspects of divorce law. Call us to schedule your consultation at (800) 283-1380.